More on the Name Game

Posted in Chatter, Traditions

There seems to be a bit of discussion about the name changing thing recently, and it’s made me think about it a little more. Last time I wrote about the name thing I was reluctant to change my name because of my business and simply not liking the way my name sounds with his, but felt somewhat resigned to changing it anyway because it’s the ‘done thing’.

But seeing more discussion on the topic, particularly on A Practical Wedding, I’m starting to rethink this approach. I’m not really the kind of person to do ‘the done thing’ simply because it’s the done thing, especially if it’s impractical. Even The Boy thinks it’s simply more practical for me to keep my last name. Both our families are pretty easy-going and I’m fairly certain that they’ll respect the decision if I decide to not take his name. I still feel a little undecided for various reasons, but now I’m leaning more towards just being Ms. The Girl…

I think that, like lots of other traditions to do with weddings, the name thing is an extremely personal decision and no one has the right to tell someone that their decision is wrong. I think the main thing is to really think about and discuss it, rather than just changing because it’s the ‘done thing’ or not changing because that’s what feminists are ‘supposed’ to do. I don’t think it’s up to outside sources in the end – it’s a personal thing, not something an outsider has any right to judge.


  1. Miss C

    It seems to be everywhere, doesn’t it?

    I agree with you for sure. Like everything else, it is up to personal preference. No two people are going experience and view things the same way. We can only make the decisions that are right for our relationships.

    Hope you didn’t think my post was saying that any one way was “wrong”, just talking about how it went for us. We got so many people looking at us like we were stuck in the dark ages, which is what got me writing that post really 🙂

  2. Angela Higgins

    Its a no brainer for me that I will keep my maiden name for my business and professional life, but on paper and legally and in my private life, I will take his surname.

    Making me feel very celebrity having a “professional name” 🙂

  3. The Girl

    Miss C – not at all! In fact it was more of a reaction to feminists I’ve seen look down on other women for following this kind of tradition, despite the fact that it’s clearly important to them for their own reasons. Some people get so preachy!

    Angela – I’m sort of considering doing that too, although I’m not sure I want to have two different names! Do you think it will be confusing or annoying?

  4. Jess

    I would love to be able for us to both change our surnames and start our own family name but the Boy is completely against that.

    I really don’t want to take his surname but it’d cause too many headaches not too. It’s not the taking of his name that bothers me it’s what the name actually is!

    I have to admit though ultimately I will take it because to me it’s another thing to celebrate about being married. But I completely understand all sides.

  5. koke

    I changed my name for two reasons. Firstly, because my husband really wanted me to. Secondly, because I wanted us to be able to travel overseas under the same name. And unfortunately, to change your passport, all your other ID has to be in your new name. So I had to change it everywhere.
    If not for these things, I would not have done it.

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